Pig Poop

I need to make one thing perfectly clear to anyone and everyone who may click on my winged Pig.  Whether you make that mouse click on purpose or end up here purely on accident, please be aware that “I LOVE BLOGGING!!!”  I like the feeling of pounding away, sometimes aimlessly, on my keyboard.  Then proofreading my work, editing, re-emphasizing and publishing to my very minute piece of the internet.  I am often indifferent to the reactions of others and sometimes I take responses personal or to heart.

Rest assured, if you don’t see a post from me for more than 10-12 days…Life has gotten in the way of my sports writer/editorialist/comedic genius alter-ego that I portray here at RSB.  What a perfect world it would be for me to turn my back on the rigors of real life to sit at my laptop and create nothing but blogs.  I would blog about my Detroit Sports teams.  I would blog about the growing pains that the University of Michigan will experience over the next few years.  I would blog about our exiled Mayor who, on his way out the door, threw Michigan’s Governor under the bus for the wrong reasons.  I would blog about the Democratic and Republican Conventions.  I would blog once again about how anyone who votes for the Democratic candidate has got his/her head placed firmly up their ass and their sphincter muscle is cutting off oxygen to their brain.

Alas, the real world seems to get in the way of our leisure and preferred activities.  I sometimes feel cheated that there are not 30 hours in the day so I can fit in all of what needs to be done.  Yet I realize that extending the day by six hours would only give my employer a reason to keep me at my desk for an additional four.

Without going into extreme and boring detail, I will try to shove all of my past two months into a vastly undersized nutshell.

I changed jobs in February and hired a new staff.  Then I had to fire one of the key players that I had hired.  Then my company placed a hiring freeze and I am stuck with dividing up tasks amongst the remaining staff including myself. 

After 11 years of putting things off, my wife and I decided to gut and remodel both of our bathrooms, remove the stucco celing in our Famiy Room and re-drywall it, remodel a spare bedroom into a nursery and repaint four rooms.  Of course our contractor was delayed with family emergencies, back-ordered parts, supposed mis-communications with me, a cell phone that he would not answer and a house in total disarray for the past 2 1/2 months.  My punch list is small but there is still a bathroom counter top that has yet to be resurfaced, floor and celing moldings that have not been installed, light fixtures that are still sitting in the contractors warehouse and a perfectionist wife who would put six coats of paint on a wall simply because there is paint left in the can.

My youngest daughter has started her Senior year at Western Michigan University.  She is a nursing student in a very aggressive program that rightfully expects a great deal from our future care givers.  My daughter decided to move from one Condo to another while keeping up with her studies, working 25-30 hours a week, studying for MCAP’s and preparing to be commissioned into the United States Navy upon her graduation.

Then my older daughter and her second baby in less than 18 months.  What can I say about that…those kids are fertile.  It wasn’t too long ago that I was introducing all of you to my first Grand-Pigglet who quickly became the apple of my eye.  Then my daughter and son-in-law divulged the news that they couldn’t keep it in their pants and were expecting another baby.  NOW…many say that the second and subsequent babies are easier and the first one is the toughest.  Well, not in this case.  She had a rough go of it but we all pulled through and I am the bubbling proud Grandpa-Pig to our second baby-boy Grandpigglet.  He entered the world a whopping 22 1/2 inches long and 9lbs 12ozs.  Now that’s a big freaking kid and nearly dwarfs his older brother who was 21 inches and 8.6 pounds. 

The dust is still settling and I’m regaining some normalcy in my crazy world.  Yet I am ever cautiously optimistic that the normalcy will sustain itself for more than a few days.  I have missed all of my blogging family and please be aware that I will never stay away longer than absolutely necessary.

It’s good to be back!!!

Those of you who fall into the categories of Family, Friends and Fellow Bloggers…the 3-F’s if you will, knew that it was only a matter of time until I posted a blog about the Presidential Race. I guess that you could even call this race a sporting event with all of the travel, speeches and public appearance. Our candidates will require great stamina and energy over the next 3 1/2 months.

Now, I did see Obama play basketball on a national news cast. Hell, I have two arthritic knees and I could beat him in a game of one on one.

Let me prefix what follows by saying that I am not what many Democrats believe a Republican to be. I don’t own my own company. I don’t live in a 3,000 square foot home. I don’t make over a six figure salary. My kids will not be receiving much of an inheratance when my wife and I are gone. I’m a retired enlisted Navy man who is pro-military and I have been to enough countries to understand that most of the world can’t stand us even though most Americans believe that the world has a love affair with us.

It is also no surprise to anyone who knows me (including my fellow bloggers) that I sit a few chairs to the Right of Center. I do not hide the fact that I’ve predominantly been a Conservative and voted on the Republican side of the ticket. I refer to the Republican Party as the “Common Sense” party and I usually break down the differences between the parties in analogies. Here’s one that I heard years ago (I don’t know who originally told this story or who to give credit) when my youngest daughter was in High School and her class was holding a “Mock Election” during the 2004 Presidential Campaign between John Kerry and G.W. Bush. She asked me what the difference was between Republicans and Democrats. My Response:

“Honey, you are a strait ‘A’ student in six classes and you worked hard for your grades. You studied for tests and always did your homework first. You listened in class and rarely stayed home from school. You respected your teachers and took great pride in the papers you turned in. However, there were students in your class that didn’t bother to study, didn’t do their homework, ignored their teachers and skipped school when they didn’t feel like going.

Now that report cards are out, you have your ‘A’ and many students have ‘C’ and ‘D’ grades.

A Republican point of view says that you worked hard for what you received and it is yours to keep. A Republican says that you should get more college acceptance letters and scholarship offers because of your hard work. A Republican says that you should be able to reap what you sow.

A Democrats point of view is that you were given too much and it would be fair to reduce your ‘A’ grades down to ‘B’ grades while increasing all the ‘C’ and ‘D’ grades. That way, people will be more equal and society will provide balance for all. Colleges will deversify and scholarships will be given to all who apply regardless of their dedication to hard work and persaverance.

I went on to expain to her that those are the basic differences between the parties. Of course it is simplifying the vast array of disparity that, at times, can be as wide as a donkey and an elephant. I continued on to explain that Republicans and Democrats are rarely portrayed equally in our media. It’s more like a good guy/bad guy scenario and it depends on which side of the fence you sit on as to who the good guy is.  I don’t dislike Barack Hussein Obama…I just don’t want him to be the President of the United States.

Comedian John Lovitz jokes about the lack of experience that Obama has.  He says that anyone who votes for him doesn’t care too much about the lack of experience but he’d bet money that those same people wouldn’t get on an airplane with a pilot fresh out of flight school.

Who ya gonna Vote for? To many, that is a personal question. The old golden rule of “Never talk about Religion, Sex or Politics” is more commonly overlooked these days. People LOVE to talk about their sex lives. Especially on Oprah or Dr. Phil or, God Forbid, Jerry Springer. Religion is widely spoken of in todays world…As long as it’s not Christianity. We can discuss Muslim, Hindu, Vampirism and the Church of Scientology. Just don’t talk about the Religion that forged the future of our country because it could become offensive to those who are not Christians.

Politics were always the way to rub someone the wrong way as I’m sure I’ll do in this post. Who are you going to vote for? Well, there have been a few occassions, few and far between, where I have voted for a Democratic candidate. I cast my vote for Bill Clinton when he ran against Bob Dole. Not at all because I was a huge fan of Clinton but because I did not feel that Bob Dole was up for the challenge of office and he did not come accross to me as a strong man. His ability to look into the camera during debates and deliver a strong message to me was not there. Clinton did not impress me, but I felt he was the better man at the time. Yes, I did end up regretting my vote when Slick-Willie cut many military programs and pushed for forced retirement of military personnel based on their age and years of service.

Barack or McCain? There is no way that I would EVER vote for Barack Hussein Obama. It just makes me shake my head in disbelief when I look at how difficult it is to elect a Catholic President. (For those who don’t know…John F. Kennedy is our only Catholic President). Yet, we are on the cusp of an election where one of the two candidates is partly Muslim and partly Christian with a spiritual leader who wants to kill white people. While I do believe that Jeremiah Wright’s words and sermons are often portrayed out of context, there is enough hatred and venom in his words to scare me. The Reverend is quick to point out all of the tragedies that have occurred while protecting our boarders, our people and our Constitution. The Reverend scoffs at our nation as he gives sermons about how our forefathers terrorized Sioux and Cherrokee people. How we terrorized Africans by bringing them back to live in slavery. How we terrorized “black” civillians in Panama. How we terrorized innocent people in Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

Never once did Jeremiah Wright talk of Colonial settlers being terrorized by native Americans in the wilderness. Nor did he speak of the Black Tribal Leaders in Africa who sold off their people to the highest bidders. Jeremiah Wright did not preach about the innocent civilian women and children who were terrorized at Pearl Harbor. NOT ONCE have I heard a sermon from Wright in which he has chastized Islamic Extremists for their cowardly acts against America on September the 11th 2001. That is a mere seven years ago people, yet so many Americans shake their heads in agreement when Wright talks about 250 year old history.

Wright claims in his sermons that European-White’s are deficient and are not Gods Children while saying that Blacks are the true chosen people. Then there is the famous sermon in which I do NOT take our of context:

“The government gives them the drugs, builds bigger prisons, passes a three-strike law and then wants us to sing ‘God Bless America.’ No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people,” he said in a 2003 sermon. “God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme.”

I will NEVER vote for Barack Hussein Obama when I hear his wife speak of her life. A life that was filled with much more privledge than I have ever seen. She claims that she is finally proud to be an American, assumingly because her husband has won the Democratic nomination for President. She is unable to feel pride in her country on the annual celebration of our Independence. She is unable to feel pride in her country when we come to the aid of underprivledged countries after natural disasters. She is unable to feel pride in her country after the heroism and patriotism that followed the 9/11 attacks…BUT for the fact that her husband is the first black presidential nominee, she has found a warm feeling in her heart for our much maligned country…God Bless you Michelle Obama.

I will NEVER vote for Barack Hussein Obama because I’m not suckered in by simple sales slogans. “Barack is for Change” is what I keep hearing. Well, Coca-Cola changed from their classic recipe to the NEW Coke several years back. That was not good. A friend of mine went out and purchased a High-Def television and didn’t order the High-Def service from his cable company. He bragged about the CHANGE he made in his living room. So when I went to watch the ballgame at his house, I couldn’t see the difference between his new HIGH DEF television and his old big screen television. Change has to accomplish something and change for the sake of change is just plain silly. What is Barack Hussein Obama claiming to change that will benefit the American People?

Obama speaks out against the evils of campaign finance. Then he sets a record for raising the most money EVER by a presidential candidate. Then he stops talking about ending campaign finance after more than doubling the funding received by John McCain. Then Obama criticized Hillary Clinton and John Edwards for taking money from Unions saying that it was “Special Interest Money”. That’s until he started receiving endorsements from Unions. Now he spins it as “working people” money.

Obama talks to one group of people in New England about lifting the embargo against Cuba saying that it did not end the Castro Regime. Then while talking to folks in Miami, good ole Obama says that keeping the Embargo on Cuba is best for the U.S. Then in 2004, Barack said that he opposses the crackdown on businesses that hire illegal aliens but now that he’s running for President, Obama says that he wants to crack down on businesses that hire illegal aliens.

Maybe most head scratching about Obama is the way he portrays himself in front of our young people. While visiting his home state of Illinois, he spoke to college students and told them that he was in favor of legalizing marijuana. Because Barack Hussien Obama is all about “CHANGE” and he wants to appeal to “EVERYONE”. Barack Hussein Obama wants to be everyones friend and he will tell you exactly what he thinks you want to hear. Apprently in the 2007 Democratic Debates, Obama was hoping that those same college students were not watching when he spoke out against the legalization of marijuana.

I will not vote for Barack Hussein Obama. I do not oppose change when it is for the betterment of our country. I do not oppose a black President but I won’t vote for a black man simply because he’s black. I’ll vote for the candidate who I feel is best for the leadership of our country. And the best candidate is John Sidney McCain III.

Who ya gonna VOTE FOR? John McCain is not your typical Republican Candidate. He has always been quick to criticize his own party and will cross party lines when it’s for the right reasons. McCain has been in service to his country for over 40 years and was a military brat growning up. Everyone is well aware of his time in a POW camp during the Vietnam war. While a prisoner, he was refused treatment for severe injuries. He was tortured relentlessly and suffered from dysentery. Things were so bad that he attempted suicide, but was stopped by the guards. McCain spent 5 1/2 years in a prison camp in North Vietnam and he always had enough strength to stand and cheer when he heard American war planes fly over the camp. Yes…I did say that John McCain ALWAYS stood up for America.

McCain has served on the Armed Services Committee, Commerce Committee, Indian Affairs Committee, was a strong supporter of the Gramm-Rudman legislation, Committee on Pow/Mia Affairs. McCain has taken on the Tobacco Industry, pork barrell spending and the Line Item Veto.

His memoir, “Faith of My Fathers” traces the story of his life growing up, his time in the naval Academy and his military service. He followed that book up with “Worth Fighting For” which talks about his return home, the break up of his first marriage.

John McCain, the American Maverick who never lost focus on service to his country. Even when he was so low that he felt it better to end his own life. I’m voting for McCain and can only hope that the plurality of the voting American public isn’t fooled by the sexy sales slogan. We will have change this November…I just hope that it’s for the better.

Okay, so it’s been awhile since I’ve dished out some juicy pellets of the stuff we love to stick our fingers in. You know, those Dairy Queen swirls of Pig Droppings that we’ve all learned to refer to as Pig Poop. I find poop every day and I have been remiss in not sharing the poop with all of you. So STFU, sit back and enjoy the latest insatllment. NOTE: Please submit your POOP to the Pig.

I’m not the only one who hates Ohio State!!! But I am a new fan of an NFL quarterback. It sure is ballsy to be the starting quarterback for the Cincinnati Bengals (Yes, Cincinnati OHIO) and then start bad mouthing their beloved Buckeyes. However, that is exactly what Carson Palmer did. While on-air with some USC (his alma mater) sports talk radio jocks, Palmer just unloaded on the team from Columbus. “I’m really getting sick of it and I just can’t wait for this game to get here so they can come out to the Coliseum and experience LA and get an old-fashioned Pac-10 butt-whoopin’ and go back to the Big Ten.” Read the rest of the POOP!!!

Add a caption:

1.  “If I scratch your balls will you PROMISE to throw strikes?”

2.  “Turn your head to the left and cough.”

3.  “You weren’t kidding…the LEFT one is bigger than the RIGHT one.”

Would you eat Pig Poop to watch a Minor League Baseball game? Okay, then how about eating a great big juicy beetle? No, I’m not talking about Paul or Ringo. I bet the marketing department of the Madison Mallards didn’t think they’d get as many as 250 fans to crunch down on the tasty bug but they did. At about $30 per seat, it added up to a $7500 giveaway. Let’s just hope that the people who downed the tasty little morsel purchased several $8.00 Beers (credit STBF) to wash down that white gushy stuff inside those crunchy bugs. POOP!!!

If you ever start wondering why people hate the Yankees…Well, it could be that they have some of the worst fans in the world. Sure, it’s okay to be a Yankee fan and hate the Boston Red Sox. In fact, you wouldn’t be much of a fan if you didn’t hate the Sox. Buy your ticket, sit in your seat and boo your freaking self blind if you want to. Just explain to me how you can even look in the mirror when you start taking it to a pregnant woman? Red Sox pitcher Jonathan Paplebon and his pregnant wife were in the All Star parade when fans started hurling insults and death threats towards the couple. ALL because Paplebon said he would welcome closing out the all star game in Yankee Stadium. POOP!!!

How much do you forgive a sports chick when she’s smoking hott? Well, Michelle Wie is absolutely gorgeous. Even if you don’t care for Asian chicks…You would have to do a double take at Wie. So why is it that when you’re that hott…that you have to be so dumb? Nope…blondes don’t have a monopoly on dizzyness. Wie who was playing some of her best golf ever, decided to leave the course without signing her score card? DISQUALIFIED POOP!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! Let’s see. If you’re running a gay website and you’re trying to get people to visit your website, what could you do? Well, apparently you use photographs of Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn to spark interest. POOP!!!

ShooterB should be AMPED UP about this trade!!! The Philadelphia Phillies are battling the New York Mets for first place in the National League East division. The Phillies could use some help in their starting rotation. Are you following me so far? Now most teams and general managers would go out and get a pitcher who could help them win some games. INSTEAD, the Phillies went out and traded for the starting pitcher who is leading major league baseball in LOSSES!!! Hello VEGAS, cancel my bet on Philly winning the NL East. POOP!!!

Miracle will be proud to know that Ichiro Suzuki is a CUSSING MACHINE!!! In fact, I think we should send him an invite to the cussing blog and make him an honorary member of the mythical “clique”. If you didn’t know the secret of the American Leagues dominance over the National League in the All Star game, I will fill you in on it. The secret is foul language, cussing, swearing, potty mouth, etc… Ever since 2001Ichiro has blasted the National League with a profanity ridden pep talk. HEY, if it works then you gotta just keep going with it. Now the National League knows the secret so they are going to get Cubs Outfielder FUKUDOME (pronounced: Fuck You Do Me) to give his cussing pep talk before next years game. POOP!!!

NON-SPORTS TOPIC: Just wondering if anyone else is wondering. Why did we need another movie about Harry Houdini the magician? Haven’t we been seeing movies about Houdini for long enough? Could it have been the modest success of a few magician movies over the last few years. The Illusionist and the other one with Ed Norton and Jennifer Beals (HOTT)? So the Weinstein Company throws $20 Million into YET ANOTHER movie about Houdini and it makes about $57 in it’s first weekend in the U.S. Well, you great big DUMB-ASSES!!! You released it the same weekend as the “greatest movie ever” was released. Of course I’m talking about the Batman Movie… POOP!!!

Okay…that’s enough poop for now. I had more poop but the picture feature is not working so I’ll hold onto the poop for a few weeks and hit you with a double shot of poop next time.

I love the game of baseball.  In fact, I guess you could call it my first true love.  Before the pre-adolescent distraction of the cute girl in the first row or the teenage obsessions for any girl who filled out her tight sweater, there was baseball.  Jumping on my bicycle in the morning with my baseball mitt on the handlebars and an old wooden ash bat tucked under my arm, I would race to the baseball field to meet up with the rest of the fellas.

With dew still on the grass and our PF-Flyers getting soaked up to our knee high white socks, we tossed the ball around.  Oblivious to anything else that might have interrupted our summer agenda.  Even vacations with the family seemed to be a punishment if we were not going to a place that had a baseball field.

Through the ugliness of the game that I love, there is still a way to see through the muck and the poop and appreciate the pureness of America’s Pastime.  Nine against nine and if you don’t have enough then you make up your own rules.  PITCHERS MOUND IS OUT FOR FIRST…HIT THE BALL TO THE RIGHT OF SECOND BASE AND YOU’RE OUT…INVISIBLE RUNNERS ADVANCE THE SAME NUMBER OF BASES AS THE BATTER!!!  Draw a  box on a brick wall and play Pitcher-Hitter.  Bounce a rubber ball off the wall or the steps and draw lines for singles, doubles, triples and home runs.  Get two throwers and a base-runner and play “Pickle”.  And if you’re all alone you can just throw the ball as high up in the air and make “Unbelievable Catches” by diving on the ground to catch the ball.

Something tells me that Major League Baseball announcer Joe Buck was never one to do these things.  Being brought up by hall of fame broadcaster Jack Buck, Joe had access to so much more than the true baseball fan ever dreamed of.  I can only imagine young Joe Buck taking a walk through the St. Louis Cardinals locker room with his dad.  Meeting some of the greatest baseball players ever.  I can only imagine young Joe Buck getting on a team plane with his dad and jet-setting around the country to all the National League cities and stadiums.  Talk about having a slice of MY HEAVEN…Joe Buck could have been the target of my envy.

However, this morning…I am not envious of Joe Buck.  If anything, I feel sad for this ungrateful man who rode his daddy’s coat tails right into the announcers box.  What an opportunity he had to embrace the greatness of the game of baseball and he squandered it.

Now announcing a sports event would probably not rank among the hardest things to do but I know that it may not be as easy as it seems.  I do not find Joe Buck to be any better or any worse than others.  However, at times I feel that Buck tries to over emphasize the importance of his opinion.

A few years back, Buck started to announce NFL games for FUX.  Buck was covering a Minnesota Vikings game and Randy Moss was once again in the fish bowl.  After scoring a touchdown, Moss emulated taking a deuce in the end zone and then also emulated wiping his behind on the goal post.  As Joe Buck announced what was happening one would have thought that Moss had just pulled out a shotgun and killed the referee.  He exclaimed that Moss’ actions were “the MOST DISGUSTING thing he had EVER SEEN!!!”  Then he went on for the next 5-10 minutes of the broadcast apologizing to the viewing audience for having to WITNESS such a lewd and disgusting display by Moss.

OKAY JOE…maybe you over reacted just a little bit?

Then in this past Super Bowl, Buck was handed the duties of broadcasting the most widely watched sporting event on the planet.  The Patriots and Giants gave us an OUTSTANDING game filled with great plays, tight defense and chess like moves by the coaches.  Buck would have left me feeling that I was watching a game of jump rope by the kids down the street.  Then, in the fourth quarter, Giants tight end David Tyree made a few catches that were absolutely tremendous.  One of the receptions was on third and long and Tyree pinned the ball against his helmet while being hit.  Then he was able to maintain control of the ball as he was hauled to the turf.  A truly amazing Super Bowl moment.  Once again Buck yawned his way through the play as if he were checking his watch for dinner time.

Yesterday, Joe Buck was on ESPiN radio with Colin Cowherd who was complaining about the week in sports.  Buck admitted to not even enjoying the games that he covers and grumbling about the length of ball games.  Buck said that he doesn’t watch sports when he’s not working and would rather watch “The Bachelorette” than a baseball game.  Buck also said that he does absolutely no preparation for the games that he announces.

So let’s get this strait.  He has a great job that pays him seven figures per year.  He got the job because his daddy did the job.  He does absolutely no preparation and spends no extra time getting ready to do his job.  He obviously doesn’t like his job because he watches reality television rather than the sport that pays his salary.  He claims that the 3 hours that he spends in the booth is “boring” and the games don’t interest him.

Tell ya what BUCK-O…get out of the booth and go find a job that actually requires skill and a bit of hard work.  If you don’t want to do that then PLEASE, stop your whiny little bitch attitude, do your job, keep your personal opinions to yourself and STFU!!!

It was the summer of 1969 and a the days were filled with sunshine and the sound of kids playing in the yard. Under the back stairs of a brick, two story flat was a makeshift fort that acted as cover for the make believe soldier, cowboy, Indian or outlaw. Imaginations ran wild for me in those days and my biggest daily accomplishments involved staying out of trouble.

Being the second oldest of four boys, there was always something going on around the house during the summer. Baseball games in the back yard with tennis balls so we wouldn’t break any windows. Basketball in the driveway. Antagonizing our 100 pound German Shepherd who watched over us like a body guard. Oh, to be 8 years old again…but not just that. To be 8 years old in a time when being “outside” and playing games was the entire meaning of life.

Dad worked hard and long hours but he always found some time to hang out with us. Throwing the baseball, building an ice rink, playing floor hockey in the basement or taking us to the Drive-In Movies on Friday nights. So we nearly jumped through the roof when he came home with front row seats to a Detroit Tiger Double-Header. Now I’m not talking about these wimpy Day/Night double headers. This is a time where they played the first game, took 20 minutes to towel off and rehydrate before taking the field again for game two. The good old days.

Dad packed my older brother, my younger brother and me into the car with our tiny little baseball mitts and headed down to the ballpark. This would mark my first EVER professional sports event. I was 8 years old and it was time. Not like today when people lug their 8 month olds down to a ballpark in 90 degree heat and humidity….(Dumb-Asses).

The excitement was increasing with every mile we drove. Closer and closer to the place that my favorite team played their games. The defending World Champion Detroit Tigers and my first visit to Tiger Stadium on the corner of Michigan Avenue and Trumbull. It doesn’t get any better than that when you’re 8 years old.

We arrived at the stadium and dad stopped to buy a program before we headed to our first row box seats. I remember the feeling of euphoria as I stepped out of the concourse and experienced that ocean of green for the first time. I had never seen anything like it. The chalk painted foul lines leaped out and the brown dirt infield was a vision of perfection. These were the days of the manual score boards but they were still beautiful in the back drop of green that just swallowed me up.

My team was stacked with players who had received their World Series Rings for their upset victory over the St. Louis Cardinals in 1968. Norm Cash at first base, Dick McCaullif, Dick Tracewski, Bill Freehan, Willie Horton, Jim Northrup and Mickey Stanley.

Their opponent for the day was the Cleveland Indians with Jose Cardinal, Ken “the Hawk” Harrelson and Duke Sims. Game one had right hander Earl Wilson going up against righty Steve Hargan. My Tigers would score 4 runs in the first two innings and skate to a 6-1 victory.

In game two, things would look tougher as Pat Dobson would go up against Louis Tiant who was always a challenge. The Indians would win the game while hitting four home runs, one of which was hit by Tiant. However in this game there was another incident that would be embedded in my mind forever. As we sat in our seats just behind the on-deck-circle, one of the Tiger hitters fouled off a weak bouncer towards the third base side. My dad stood as the big hop was headed directly to him and just as he was about to nab the most excellent souvenir from our very first baseball game, sure handed third baseman Don Wert reached up and nabbed the ball out of the air. (This was during a time when they DID NOT throw balls to kids in the stands).

It was a long day and it was time to go home. I had experienced what, to me, was the Holy Grail of my childhood. I had loved sports as a 6 and 7 year old, but now that I was 8 and had been to my first ballgame, I knew that sports had captured me. Tiger Stadium was part of my childhood.

Forward through life some thirty years later. It was a beautiful evening on September 27th 1999 when the Detroit Tigers would play their last game at my childhood friend. I was at the stadium with my older brother and two lifelong friends and we basked in the magic, the memories and the special feelings that we experienced in that ballpark. The Tigers won in a meaningless game in the standings but it wasn’t meaningless to the 52,000 plus people who jammed themselves into that old ballpark.

In an after game ceremony, every Detroit Tiger player who was still alive and had played on that field was announced for the last time as they took their position. There was cheering and clapping and lumps in the throats of everyone there as we all thought back to those warm summer nights of our childhood. Willie Horton trotted out to left field with tears running down his cheeks. Horton grew up in Detroit and his childhood dreams came true when he manned the left field corner. Al Kaline received an explosive ovation as he looked up at the crowd from Kaline Corner in right field.

Just the other day, demolition began on the ballpark that introduced me to my love of sports. Built in 1895 and home to four World Series teams. Tiger Stadium was also home to three Detroit Lions Football Championships during the 1950’s. The “Corner” as hall of fame announcer Ernie Harwell often refers to her, as also been the backdrop of several movies for Hollywood. Most recently, Billy Crystal’s “61″ was shot at Tiger Stadium.

Do not mistake me for some idiotic fanatic who wanted to “preserve” Tiger Stadium and turn it into some kind of ridiculous monument. It was time for that old girl to be laid to rest. The wrecking ball is exactly what was needed for development….and Detroit could sure use some positive development these days.

I just wanted to pay a little tribute to one of my friends growing up. One of my BEST FRIENDS!!! Bye Friend.

There was a time when the international Olympic games were the biggest show on earth. Yep, even bigger than the Super Bowl. The very first time that one guy turned to another guy and said “My dad can kick your dad’s ass.” was in the Olympic games.

To understand the Olympics, you first have to understand its history and there are some things that I learned while researching the topic. First, the Olympics in 776 BC were not an international event. The games were held in Athens Greece and competitors may have shown up from other countries, but it was mainly a Greek event and there weren’t GAMES with an “S” but GAME. Yep, one event and it was a sprint. Yep, the stade was a naked run of about 192 meters or 210 yards. The first champion of the event was a Greek named Coroebus.

Eventually the Olympics added events and European countries started sending their champions to compete. Even THEN, Kings from various lands would hire their athletes who may have been from other regions or countries. Then, in 393 CE, Roman Emperor Theodosius I abolished the games because of their pagan influences.

It wasn’t until approximately 1500 years later that the games were rediscovered and it wasn’t due to fair play and competition. Frenchman Pierre de Coubertin who attributed the defeat of France to the Germans in teh Franco-Prussian War to lack of vigor and conditioning. He also concluded that exercise and sports made for a more well-rounded and vigorous person. He wrote letters to other countries and exclaimed:

“Let us export our oarsmen, our runners, our fencers into other lands. That is the true Free Trade of the future; and the day it is introduced into Europe the cause of Peace will have received a new and strong ally. It inspires me to touch upon another step I now propose and in it I shall ask that the help you have given me hitherto you will extend again, so that together we may attempt to realise [sic], upon a basis suitable to the conditions of our modern life, the splendid and beneficent task of reviving the Olympic Games.”

The Modern Olympics (as they are referred to today) began in 1896, again in Athens Greece and the contestants were not nationally chosen but rather came individually at their own expense. Some were even tourists who decided to participate simply because they were there.

Even through the early 1900’s, the games lacked of true competition. The 1904 games in St. Louis featured about 100 of the 681 athletes from countries other than the United States. There were no participants from England, France or Sweden.

The Olympics brought new meaning to the U.S. in 1936 when the games were held in Berlin, Germany. The host country was controlled by the Nazi party headed by Adolf Hitler and his racist policies. The Americans were very close to boycotting the games but accepted the invitation at the last minute. Germany saw the Olympics as a way to promote their ideology. They built four huge stadiums, swimming pools, outdoor theatres, polo fields, a huge Olympic Village and the entire place was covered with Nazi Banners.

In addition to these games being a world event, the entire planet had a chance to watch as it was the first televised Olympics. There were 49 countries represented and over 4, 000 athletes.

Most notable was a black athlete from the United States named Jesse Owens nicknamed “the Tan Cyclone”. Owens brought home four gold medals and silenced Hitler’s propaganda of Aryan Supremacy for the remainder of the games. The world would not see another Olympic games for the next 12 years.

I have searched for an official statement or purpose for the Olympics. I have visited the web site of the International Olympic Committee. I have Googled the purpose of the Olympics and cannot find a definitive answer to the question, “Why do we have the Olympics?” I can’t find the answer.

I do know what I’ve been told through the years. The Olympic Games are the opportunity for all countries to lay down their arms and come together in a show of competition, good-will, fair play and sportsmanship. The Olympics are about patriotism and cheering for your countrymen. The Olympics are a competition that brings the best athletes in the world together in one venue.

Unfortunately, the Olympic games are not as idealistic as that. The games have been marred by scandal and cheating for years. Dating back to the 1912 games when Jim Thorpe was stripped of his decathlon and pentathlon gold medals because he played minor league baseball three years earlier. Boycotts of Olympic games by various countries based on political differences. In fact, there are many organizations that are calling for the U.S. to boycott this years games in China. The Terrorist massacre of Israeli athletes in 1972. Countless doping violations. Fast tracking of citizenship in countries that buy athletes to compete in specific events.

Then there is the subjective Olympic events that are at the mercy of the judges. How about S.Korean Park Si-Hun getting the decision over American Roy Jones Jr. after Jones beat the living shit out of the guy. The punch count was 86-32 in favor of Jones. Sure, they suspended the judges but the investigation found no wrongdoing…YEAH…RIGHT!!!

Let me remind you of the Tonya Harding - Nancy Kerrigan fiasco in 1994. “WHYYYY….WHYYYYYY!!!!”

Dual gold medals are awarded in pairs figure skating, to Canadian pair David Pelletier and Jamie Salé and to Russian pair Yelena Berezhnaya and Anton Sikharulidze after allegations of collusion among judges.

In the 2004 Games there were 24 reports of individuals or teams being disqualified or dropping out of the competition due to illegal substances. Six medals were stripped from athletes due to after testing that resulted in positive doping violations.

WHY AREN’T THE OLYMPICS MORE POPULAR THESE DAYS?

Besides some of the reasons already listed above, I have some theories about the Olympics and their dwindling interest in the United States.

1. We Americans love the story about the kid from Cornfield, Iowa who worked out every day by lifting bails of hay on his daddy’s farm. Then the kid ran all the way to school in the morning and ran all the way back home to the farm to finish his chores. All of his hard work eventually paid off for him when the U.S. Olympic Committee called on him to be a part of the American Olympic team.

THAT is the story we like.

Now we have rich kids and rich moms and dads who take their kids to gymnastic camps at 3 years old or to ice rinks as soon as they can walk. They pay coaches and committees and basically pay for their kid to become an Olympic athlete.

2. As recently as the early 1990’s, cable television was a luxury that not everyone could afford. A large portion of our society was limited to Network Television so when the Olympics were on, people were more prone to tune into the games. NOW, everyone has basic cable and many choices on their idiot box. It is not a given that dad will come home from work, grab the clicker and flip on womens weight lifting. Dad may be tuning into the free On-Demand choices that most cable companies offer. Not only that, but the incessant commercials and “back-stories” that we are inundated with cause people to tune out.

Then there is the tape delay. In today’s information age, we know that the Olympic mens basketball team won their game while we were sleeping and we don’t have to wait for the re-broadcast the following day.

3. NBC has the television contract for this years Olympics. They have already announced that the cost for advertisements is $700,000 for a 30 second spot. Tell me that big business doesn’t have it’s fingers in the pot of armature athletics. HELL…I just saw a story on some of the ARMATURE athletes who will be competing in the games. They were all driving Mercedes and BMW’s. Those poor kids.

4. Professional Athletes. I’d rather watch our college kids fight it out through sweat and tears than to watch a bunch of millionaires play showtime against mostly mediocre talent. I have to say though…I did get a kick out of the Argentine team beating one of our “Dream Teams”.

5. The World Games, the Pan-Am games, the World Championships etc… The Olympics are no longer that event that is one of a kind. There are yearly competitions that pit the best athletes or teams against each other. Although the Olympics may be the “Granddaddy” of world events, I compare it to the College Bowls of 20 years ago to the College Bowls of today. The saturation is just too much. Plus, if I want to watch the best athletes in the world, I’ll tune into American sports.

6. National Indifference? When we have high school kids flying the Mexican flag at California schools and raising the American flag underneath and upside down? We have National Indifference. When we have illegal aliens protesting on our streets for the right to break our laws…and our people/politicians/law enforcement do NOTHING about it? We have National Indifference. When, on the 4th of July, OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY…we see more houses lighting off fireworks than flying their American Flag…we have National Indifference.

Now…AS ALWAYS, I’m not saying that I’m right about all of this. I’m just saying what I think. Feel free to tell me that I’m wrong!!!  Then I’ll drop some poop on ya!

So the douche bag Don Imus is at it again. I’m sure that everyone has heard his latest “What color is he” comment about Adam “don’t call me Pac-Man” Jones. I’m sure that everyone just shook their head when they heard it. I’m sure that everyone blurted out…”What an asshole” when they heard the comments. Yet, I don’t understand why everyone is so up in arms about it. You don’t go to a MacDonalds to order a Fillet Mignon. You go to MacDonalds to eat some greasy-ass fries and a worm burger. You don’t go to a tittie bar to meet a girl to take home to mom and dad. SOOOOO…you don’t listen to Don Imus and expect to hear anything socially redeeming. The guy is a SHOCK-JOCK and he makes his money by saying SHOCKING and DISGUSTING things on the radio. The old, has-been, never-was, Howard Stern Wannabe couldn’t care less what people say about him.

Just stop for a minute and think about it. Last year before the Rutgers comments, Don Imus’ radio show was barely a blip on the radar. He makes the comments and he becomes front page news. He gets fired and people are still talking about him for months. So Imus gets a new gig with CBS radio and he starts off strong before fading away once again. NOBODY is listening to the old washed up fuck-weed. So what can Imus do to regain some attention? He is insignificant and boring so he has to do SOMETHING. Why not make another inappropriate racial remark on live radio. BAM!!! Imus is back in the news and people are once again talking about him. The guy is a fucked up egomaniac…but he knows how to get your attention.

Hey…you really wanna fuck with IMUS? Ignore the old coot every time he pisses in the pool. Just grab your towel and your sunglasses and leave.

SPEAKING OF RACIST!!! Not even…NOT EVEN a blip on the radar is Shaq. Sure, he comes out with some weak assed Rap that sounds like the Greatful Dead being played backwards and a bunch of cats fighting at the same time. Everyone wants to talk about how the RAP is dissing Kobe. I watched and listened to the performance on MSN video. One of Shaq’s Raps was “It’s like a ‘WHITE BOY’ trying to be more nigger than me”.

Now I’m not going to start a crusade to have Shaq banned from the NBA or ask him to publicly apologize because I just consider his ignorance. WHY is it that some blacks feel that calling someone a “White Boy” is not racist? Believe me, I’m not one to argue semantics because I have extremely high powers of perception. I know EXACTLY what a brother means when he calls me a WHITE BOY, or GREY BOY or CRACKER. Throw out the age old myth that blacks can’t be prejudiced and racist. I see it ALL THE TIME!!!

Hang Michael Richards from his pecker. Fire Rush Limbaugh, Castrate Jimmy the Greek but HEY…if you’re black like Shaq, you can call WHITEY anything you want. YES, I’m offended but I know that the double standard that exists in this country allows for non-white races to insult me publicly and I’ve learned to live with it.

The NBA draft is this Thursday. YAWWWWNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

I think there is one definite difference maker in the draft and that is Michael Beasley will make an immediate impact for whichever team drafts him. Beasley is THE ONLY Freshman coming out early who will splash the pond. There are 9 of the top 15 rated players entering the draft who have only played one year of college basketball. Maybe that is why the NBA game seems so watered down. It used to be that a college player had to be “LIGHTS OUT” to leave before his senior year. Now it’s one and done and it shows on the court.

ESPN or E-Spin as the dark blogger refers to it…is a bunch of crap. Now don’t get me wrong, they do some things well, but for the most part they blow. Take yesterday for instance. I get home from work and turn on Sports Center to see how my Detroit Tigers did.

Keeping in mind the AMAZING golf play of Tiger Woods on Monday to capture the U.S. Open, yesterday was in fact Wednesday. The show opened up with about five minutes on Tiger and his upcoming surgery. Then at about the 40 minute mark of the show there was more Tiger news with a few quotes from his doctor telling everyone that the injury was not career threatening. Then to close out the show, they played more highlights of Tigers win.

Now when it came to my Detroit Tigers playing one of two afternoon games in MLB against the San Francisco Giants there were no highlights at all. Instead, they showed some highligts of the 60 year old ball boy (affectionately dubbed “BallDude”) falling on his ass while trying to pick up a foul ball. Then they showed another highlight of the same old guy trying to scoop up a two bouncer in foul territory and misplaying it.

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? They don’t show any of Armando Galaraga’s 6 innings and five strikeouts enroute to his seventh win of the season. They don’t show even ONE of Placido Polanco’s four hits on the day. Way to go ESPN…I hate you.

How about all of the “I told ya so” people coming out of the woodwork after the Boston Celtic Championship. I don’t blame them but I’m just so tired of the NBA game. It’s predictable, frustrating to watch and almost contrived. Earlier in the playoffs, I likened it to a WWE Wrestling Match because it often seems so scripted. Even the Boston Game 4 comeback. HOW did that happen? How does a professional basketball team score 35 points in the first quarter and then score only 33 points in the second half?

How about the pathetic surrender that the Lakers mailed in…in game six at Boston? The game needs some fixing and I don’t find it entertaining anymore. Call the game by the rules or change the rules. Call the same game on both sides of the court. If a player committs his sixth foul, CALL IT!!! Clean up your officiating. Enough of the carnival crap that goes on before the games. PLAY SOME DAMN BASKETBALL!!!

<!–[endif]–>About a week ago, I watched as my Detroit Pistons bowed out of the NBA playoffs once again.  Sure, they had just appeared in their sixth strait Conference Championship series and over that same period of time they had played in two NBA Finals, winning the Championship in 2004.  However, something has happened in the pro game of basketball that leaves me feeling like I smoked cigarettes, drank skunky beer, ate hot wings and woke up without a toothbrush.  I cheer for my Pistons but I had a feeling of indifference when the season ended for them.  It felt like the finals match up was as contrived as a WWE match and nothing was going to stop a reunion tour of the Lakers/Celtics.

Fast forward to this past Monday night and game five of the Stanley Cup Finals.  My Red Wings found themselves on the doorstep of winning the Cup only to have their best laid plans foiled with 34 seconds left in regulation time.  On to sudden death overtime and then a second and then a third.  Over 110 minutes of hockey played at the Joe Louis Arena in downtown Detroit.  The game ended at nearly 1:00am eastern time with a power play goal by the Penguins.

It was like a dagger to the middle of my chest that barely missed any vital organs.  I felt a pit in the middle of my stomach that I couldn’t cough up like a hair-ball.  NOOOO!!!!! The Wings outplayed the Penguins in almost every facet of the game with the exception of goal tending.  My desire to celebrate would have to wait at least a few more days.  In the meantime, I worried.  You do not want to give a wounded dog a chance to lick his wounds.  That intangible that we call momentum had most definitely swung the pendulum in the opposite direction and the youthful team from the steel city felt new life.

Over the past few days, I listened to hockey analysts speak about that same momentum and the effects of losing the game in the fashion that the wings did.  Would the younger Penguins have more energy being back in their own building?  Would the older Red Wings show the signs of both mental and physical fatigue after such an emotional finish?  Youth versus Experience?

As sports fans, we invest so much in our teams.  Why was my investment so much higher with the Red Wings than it was with the Pistons?  I don’t know for sure but I do know that I wanted that dagger pulled from my chest and I wanted that huge hairball to be spewn from my throat.

I sleep walked my way through work yesterday in anticipation of last nights game.  I wore my black Red Wing game jersey yesterday and noticed the many people who donned their Detroit schwag.  Our city was pumped and ready to swing octopuses over our heads in excited jubilation.  We were ready for a parade down Woodward Avenue and a rally at the Joe.

I worked late and got home about an hour before game time.  I would be watching the game at home with my wife…but she would eventually scamper off to the bedroom to watch the home shopping network or some cooking show (my wifes favorite part of a sporting event is paying $5 for a hot dog and $8 for a beer).  I could go to my dad’s house or a friends or I could have invited someone over to watch the game with me but if it were another five hour marathon, I didn’t want to be stuck away from home and I didn’t want some drunk sleeping on my sofa.  So I settled in by myself.

I won’t recap the game or the scoring or the deciding play.  I will refrain from giving game analysis or talking about bad calls.  I will just say that my Red Wings prevailed in a very exciting game against a team with a great deal of promise.  For the fourth time in 11 years, the Stanley Cup has returned to the City of Detroit.  Only the Montreal Canadians (24) and the Toronto Maple Leafs (13) have won Lord Stanley’s Cup more times than the Red Wings (11) and we could see a few more with their current core group of players.

What is it about our home team winning a championship that makes us fans feel as though WE have accomplished something.  Do we live our lives vicariously through these athletes to the point that winning a championship is energizing or revitalizing?  I know that I stayed up until after midnight again just watching the ceremonies and the interviews.

There are always the side stories that go along with every championship team in every sport.  Darren McCarty, who had won three Stanley Cups with the Red Wings in 96/97, 97/98 and 01/02 started the season out of the NHL.  He was recovering from substance abuse, out of shape and playing senior league hockey when Wings GM Ken Holland called him.  McCarty skated himself back into shape and spent a few months with the Grand Rapids Griffins of the AHL.  Darren McCarty who is infamous in Detroit Hockey history for his epic fight with Claude Lemieux was all but finished with professional hockey.  Yet as fate would smile on D-MAC, injuries to the Red Wings would prompt a call to the Griffins asking for the veteran wingers services.  Back with the team that drafted him in 1987 Darren McCarty would once again hoist the cup over his head and take a victory lap.

How about Dallas Drake?  Also drafted by the Red Wings in 1989…Drake spent two years in Detroit before stints with Winnipeg Phoenix and St. Louis where he was team captain for two seasons.  Finding himself a free agent after last year, Drake had very few options and not a lot of offers when Kenny Holland came calling.  The Red Wings are a fine blend and mixture of youth, experience and veteran leadership.

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NHL tradition calls for the league commissioner to present the Cup to the winning teams captain and then there is the first “hand-off” of the Cup.  After Gary Bettman presented Stanley to Wings Captain, Nick Lidstrom…the hand off went to Dallas Drake, the 16 year veteran who had never felt the adrenaline rush from hoisting that prize above his head.  Dallas Drake who at 38 years of age and still diving in front of slap shots.  Dallas Drake who had nearly a minute in the penalty box for every game he had played in the NHL was now a Stanley Cup Champion.

Finally there is Chris Osgood.  The baby faced, 5′10″, 36 year old goal tender from Peace River, Alberta.  Ozzie and any other goalie in Detroit is as scrutinized as any Detroit Lions Quarterback and when the team doesn’t in, much like the Lions fans blame the QB, Red Wings fans blame the goalie.  During the 96/97 season, Chris Osgood was the number one goalie only to be sat on the bench during the playoffs for the veteran Mike Vernon.  The Wings won the cup and Vernon was named MVP with the Conn Smythe trophy.  The following year, Osgood stayed in net all season long and through the playoffs.  The Red Wings once again won the Cup but Chris Osgood was dubbed “The WORST Goalie Ever to Win the Stanley Cup”.

Through all of this, the quiet and humble Osgood remained the consummate pro and never complained or questioned his role with the team.  Yet when the Wings aquired Dominik Hasek in 2001, Osgood became expendable and the Wings left him unprotected and the New York Islanders picked him up in the waiver draft.

Ozzie would spend two years in New York and another two in St. Louis before returning to the team he never wanted to leave.  Chris would play in the back up role to Hasek and Manny Legace for the most part.  However, during this season…Hasek would suffer another in a long list of injuries and Chris Osgood would step to the forefront playing in 43 games and amassing a 27-9-4 record en route to a starting spot on the All Star team.

As if reliving a bad nightmare, Osgood would sit down again for this years playoffs but not for long.  After two shaky starts followed by two horrendous starts in net, Dominic Hasek was pulled for the Wizard of Oz.  That could have been the turning point for the Detroit team as Chris was masterful throughout the remainder of the playoffs.  Pitching three shutouts including the first two games of the finals, Chris Osgood was back home in Detroit and the fans took every opportunity to thank him.  No longer will he be known as the “Worst Goalie EVER to win a Stanley Cup.”  How could you when he’s wearing three rings?

I drifted off to sleep well after midnight but it wasn’t easy.  My team had won and I am once again a champion.

You know what irritates me to no end? Besides the kielbasa queen over at the other site that is. Yeah, well lots of things get under my skin like a blood sucking parasite but there are little things that just piss me right off. Sports figures and athletes must get a kick out of the attention they receive. They want to be adored by the fans that they ply their trade for. That would be WE THE FAN, right?

Sports fans have developed very clever ways of using the sports they love to further their amusement. Hence, Fantasy Sports and the fanatics who play them. Individuals have developed ways to take game day performances and mold them into a game that we fans can play. It all started with simply utilizing the daily sports page to determine point totals for the fantasy players. Those point totals would be applied to a score and BAM…you have a fantasy sports league.

So now, since the internet has made it so much easier to participate in these fantasy games, the lawyers who represent the Major League Players Association wants a piece of that pie. These slimy, scummy attorneys are suing fantasy sports leagues for profiting off of the statistics of their clients. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Do they honestly believe that they are going to stop people from playing fantasy sports? Nope…because that is not their intention. Their intention is for the companies that sell fantasy sports services to PAY them a percentage of their profits. Of course, that would simply raise the price of the fan to participate in the game. Read the story here…POOP!!!

Don Cherry is a doofus. Sure, he was light and refreshing and funny and a character. FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!! He spouts his old-school pompous remarks and wears his emotions on his sleeve. Cherry would be happier if every hockey game featured a dony-brook, four or five fights and a few game misconducts. He hates European players and interjects coaching advice every chance he gets. HEY DON…If you were a good coach when you coached…you’d still be a coach!!!

On an old Carol Burnett show (reference to Miracles latest post) there was a skit where Carol played a southern belle in the deep south during the Civil War. A Confederate General came to her home and she had nothing fancy to wear so she wore a curtain with the curtain rod still in it.

Don Cherry’s suits always remind me of that skit. The flamboyant attention hound wants to stick out like a fart in church. Just get rid of the guy already. POOP!!!

Oklahoma State had a walk-on pitching hopeful a few years back named Clinton McKeever. Well, Mckeever didn’t make the squad so he ended up at rival Wichita State. So as luck would have it, the two teams ended up facing each other in the regional finals.

Ahead by a run in the ninth inning, OSU pitched around the number three hitter to get to McKeever who delivered a single to tie the game. Then in the 10^th inning, OSU again intentionally walked the batter, loading the bases, to get to McKeever. What did the kid do for an encore? GRAND SLAM!!! Game over. POOP!!!

I find it hard to believe that one shot made such a swing in Vegas. However, that is what they are saying. During the elimination game last Thursday, the Lakers had the basketball and a 5 point lead. The Spurs were not fouling and all the Lakers needed to do was to dribble out the clock. Instead, LA guard Sasha Vujacic decided to hoist up a 3-pointer which filled the bottom of the net. While watching the game, I was a bit shocked at the shot and thought it to be a bit classless. Good damn thing I wasn’t betting on the game because that shot reportedly cost sports books around $100 million in Las Vegas alone. POOP!!!

When I’m watching porn or at a bachelor party or even in a bar/night club…It’s kinda hott to watch two babes kissing. If I’m sitting at a sporting event with one of my kids or my wife, I’m not interested in watching a man/woman kiss let alone two chicks. It’s uncomfortable in that setting. While not being a gay basher or wishing any ill-will to gays and lesbians, I still find it wrong and against nature and I don’t need to see it anywhere else except in the instances I’ve mentioned above.

This actually happened to me years ago when my daughters were in their young teens. We were at a Tiger game at Comerica park and two Lesbo’s were sitting with their own kids while holding hands, rubbing each others arms, leaning on each others shoulders, etc… Now they never kissed, but my daughters were quite uneasy with this public display of affection.

I applaud the woman at Safeco field who complained when to smoking hott carpet munchers couldn’t keep their lips to themselves. SURE, the claim that it was just a “peck” but it was their refusal to stop their activity that got them kicked out. So what were they there for? To watch a baseball game or to cause a disturbance. NOW THAT is the problem that I have with Homos and Gash-Kisser.

Apparently a security guard asked the two chicks to stop with the kissy face because the mother of two sitting behind her sensed the uneasiness of her kids. One of the Lezbos said that she wasn’t going to stop. Now the waste of a hott babe is claiming bias at the ballpark. Expect a MULTI-MILLION dollar lawsuit. POOP!!!

For those of you familiar with the Phonetic Alphabet, you will be able to decipher my post title.  For those of you oblivious to the meaning.  It matches our good friend STBF’s latest post entitled…”WHAT THE FUCK” or “WTF”.  Sometimes you just have to ax yo-self that very simple and much overused question.  It hits me several times a day.  At work, at home, watching the news, reading the sports page or listening to Sports Talk Radio.  I stop dead in my tracks and scratch myself while I either think, mumble or scream out loud…WHAT THE FUCK?

1.  Pittsburgh Penguins management has decided not to allow anyone with a Michigan mailing address the privledge of purchasing tickets to games 3 and 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals.  They have put a stipulation on ticket sales that allow for residents of New York, Ohio, New Jersey, Deleware and Maryland to buy tickets…but if you are from the FREAKING STATE that is HOME to your opponent, you may NOT buy a single ticket.

This irritates me further based on the number of Pennsylvanians in town over the weekend to attend games 1 and 2 at the Joe Louis Arena in Detroit.  Most of them purchased their tickets online and made the drive.  They stayed in our hotels, ate in our restaurants, drank in our bars…OH WAIT A MINUTE. 

Okay Pennsylvania, I see that you are only trying to help our economy here in the S/E Michigan area.  You want us to stay home and watch the games in downtown bars and eat at the fine establishments to stimulate the economy in and around Detroit.  You’re just trying to help.  Now I understand.

2.  Staying on the Hockey topic.  What the Fuck is up with the Penguins?  I mean, great job and all, making it to the Cup Finals and breezing through the Eastern Conference.  You have had a great season and Crosby gets the girls in a frenzy.  SUPER!!!  So far, the Red Wings are a far better team than the Penguins and if they were smart, they would try to learn from them and soak in the experience.  

Unfortunately, the Penguins have reverted to goon-ism (Add that to the blogasaurus). That is when a hockey team realizes that they stand no chance beating the other team on the ice, so their only recourse is to try to eliminate the other team systematically with cheap shots and scrums after the whistle has blown.  Hell, they even went after Pavel Datsyuk and Hennrick Zetterburg who are both candidates for the Selke Trophy which is given out for sportsmanship. 

Be THANKFUL Pittsburgh, that Red Wing Coach Mike Babcock does not retaliate by sending Darren McCarty after Sidney Crosby.  Be thankful that the league didn’t suspend Gary Roberts for his antics in game 2 where he relentlessly went after Johan Franzen with late hits, punches to the head and stickwork.  Pittsburgh is going to lose the series.  The question is whether they will win with dignity or shame.

3.  Yet another Hockey WTF?  I know Sidney Crosby is a good goal scorer and I know that he is young and flashy.  I know that the collective population of Canada wants to soap this kids nut sack when he dips his teabag into the jacuzzi.  But what the fuck?  This kid is complaining that he is tired?  He has played a lot of hockey games and he is a bit fatigued?  Correct me if I’m wrong but this is the last series of the year for the NHL and Sid the Kid will have the next three months off to sleep.

I have not heard one complaint from Red Wing players about being a bit tired.  What’s more disturbing to me is that Detroit is an eastern time zone city playing in the Western Conference.  If anyone should be tired, it should be the Wings who played three rounds of Hockey traveling through three time zones.  The Penguins never left the East and played less games to get to the finals.

One last thing on this topic.  Crosby does not play on the penalty kill.  So he has additional time to “rest” while his teammates are continually taking stupid, bone head penalties.  Datsyuk and Zetterburg play on the penalty kill AND on the Power Play.  Why aren’t they complaining about being sleepy? 

Hey, Crosby is a great goal scorer…but he is NOT a great hockey player.  Freaking tired my ass.

4.  When I hear NBA, all I can say is what the fuck?  Don’t get me wrong…I LOVE BASKETBALL.  From the time that dad put up a hoop on the garage and we had to put extra lights in the driveway to play after dark…I have loved the game of basketball.  It’s a brilliant game and has evolved into a world wide sport.  Yet when it comes to the NBA…WTF?

I can no longer understand the game.  What is a foul?  What is traveling?  Can players hand check or can’t they?  What is charging compared to a block?  How many steps can a player take when driving to the basket?  Is it possible for a “superstar” to foul out of a basketball game?  Can a “superstar” push a referee and remain in the game without even receiving ONE TECHNICAL FOUL?  Hell, I blogged last year how Rasheed Wallace received a technical foul for laughing at Ilgauskus of the Cavs.  I remember Tim Duncan being ejected from a game for sitting on the bench after being “T’d” up last year.  Kevin Garnett pushes a ref and NOTHING?

Well…I’m lying when I say that I don’t understand.  It happened in a game against the Atlanta Hawks and the Hawks were pushing Boston.  The last thing they wanted was for Atlanta to win the series while one of their stars was sitting in the locker room.  Does the league want a Boston - LA Laker finals?  Does the Pope shit in the woods?  Is Yogi Bear a Catholic?

5.  Major League Baseball has been pretty boring and WTF?  Actually, I know the answer to that question.  Sportsfans, you are witnessing the “NON-STEROID” era of baseball and everyone must learn to adjust.

Gone are the days of 70 home runs and players being able to bunt the ball over the left field wall.  Batting averages, home runs, slugging are down.  Base on Balls and injuries are up.  Umpires have shrunk the strike zone to increase baserunners and scoring.  Baseball must adjust to the level playing field that has been created by removing performance enhancing drugs from the game.  It may take a few years and many players how relied on the quick recovery time from injury now have to rely on doctors, treatment and mother nature to heal. 

OH…and I’d rather see my Tigers finish in last place than to see Barry Bonds or Roger Clemens wearing the Old English D.

6.  NFL mini-camps are starting and WTF?  Why is there so much time off in football?  Here’s an idea that I heard or read somewhere else.  Reduce the number of exhibition games down to TWO.  Increase the number of regular season games to 18!!!  More meaningful football.

***I’m done here.  Please add your comments and tell me about the things that make you stop dead in your tracks and say…”WHAT THE FUCK?”